It has been a struggle today with the despair of the Long Lonely Stunt really kicking in, and it’s only the very beginning of. Fortunately I was kept busy at work, so that time flew by at least.
In fact I was in such demand at work that I was plucked out of meetings to help others πŸ™‚ Added to that I was also tasked (and actually asked nicely), in light of my recent inspirational crafting to sort some decorations and stuff out, to ensure a visit from a local Primary school choir went without a hitch and in a traditional manner. Which it did πŸ™‚
We had a couple of festive buckets in order to raise some money for the school (& we were already handing over a cheque from previous fundraising efforts, part of my crafting task had been to come up with a suitable giant sized cheque, as apparently many had tried but failed over the previous 2 days – yep I nailed it hehehe). It was during the middle of the singing that I noticed we had a massive crowd gathered and manner somewhat moistened eyes, but no collection in the buckets……….. I pounced in the moment and quickly circulated when everyone was at their most suggestible, I know how to work a crowd πŸ˜‰ needless to say the collection bucket soon filled up (with paper money as well!). So I like to think that was a nice job, well done πŸ˜‰
I missed the big Secret Santa session at work yesterday but got my present today. I’ve included pictures below, it was certainly beautifully wrapped with a nice message (I’m still hoping that Santa’s helpers will form parts 2 & 3 of the present later on!) and I’m pleased with the present itself (a notebook with a genuine vinyl record as a cover – Supertramp aswell). The only tricky decision is whether I use the notebook for Geek night or for writing projects, I haven’t quite decided yet πŸ™‚
Now onto something not so pleasant, part if the reason for blogging is fundamentally as a form of therapy, and I’m about to touch on that now. Clearly the Long Lonely Stint is biting particularly hard at the moment, I could hazard some reasonably educated guesses why, but I’m not really wanting to dwell on them. Instead I have to write about another one of those rare times where something completely ambushed me and genuinely shook me to my core. In fact as I was travelling home on the bus when it happened it took every ounce of strength to make the journey home after it.
It may actually come across as something really silly and trivial now, but I’m going to force myself to write, so just indulge me for a while dear reader :-/
Whilst on the bus home I was scrolling through various articles about Autism, because I like to read interesting things. One particularly unimportant article triggered a chain of paralysing thoughts, and once the chain if thought had started there was now raining it in until I’d reached rock bottom 😦
It was just about Adults with Autism, this set me off thinking about how Aiden is going to be when he grows up, which in turn led to me wondering what’s going to happen to him when I’m not there to “protect” him. How is our cruel society going to look after him. I know, it’s fundamentally silly, as in all fairness Aiden will likely grow up to be indistinguishable from everyone else, especially given the progress he has made recent years. But I couldn’t help the chain of irrational thoughts and they were utter soul destroying and paralysing. It’s been a hard slog the evening to drag myself out of that quagmire 😦
So there we go, not the best ending to a post, but it’s an honest one, and as I stated it’s part therapy, I’m not looking or asking for solutions, I just think it’s better to throw those words into the page and see how they stick……… Right bedtime now.

Odi et amo………..Excrucior

Stay Slinky People,

Poisoner extraordinaire